


Hurt Locker

by jungbros (silvertaels)



Series: imported fics [2]
Category: Nine Muses, VIXX
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Smut, angsty smut actually, old fic, only keo smut tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 19:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10703475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertaels/pseuds/jungbros
Summary: Jaehwan has to make a choice between Kyungri and Taekwoon."Hyung, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying.""I know what I'm saying. Please don't go. I love you."





	Hurt Locker

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on aff (July 6 2015).

Jaehwan had his arm around Kyungri's waist, and Kyungri had hers around Jaehwan's waist too. It's an uncomfortable position to walk in and some passers-by threw them judgmental stares, but neither of them really cared, because it's the way they liked it: feeling each other in their arms.

Jaehwan squeezed Kyungri's waist to get her attention. "Kyungri-yah, what do you want to eat?"

Kyungri widened her eyes, then pouted, "Yah! Where are your manners?"

Jaehwan just chuckled, "Well, then should I call you _hyung_ instead?"

Kyungri broke out into a smile and rolled her eyes, saying in a low voice, "No, you should call me _oppa_."

Jaehwan laughed and made his voice a whole octave higher, "Okay, oppa!"

Kyungri laughed heartily and pulled Jaehwan towards the Japanese restaurant she had just spotted across the street.

-

Taekwoon walked down the street, humming a tune. In his hands were some pastries and a cup of latte, just the perfect way to celebrate the end of work. His day at work was unusually smooth, he managed to end the day without getting nagged at by his nitpicking boss, despite having to overtime. Good day, good food, good weather. Life's good, Taekwoon thought.

He walked rather slowly, taking the time to scrutinize every detail along the street. The street was famous for boasting a wide array of delicacies, and Taekwoon mentally made a list of the restaurants he had to try some day. Afterall, what was a good life without good food?

He was looking into the restaurants, when he spotted a familiar face in a Japanese restaurant. A familiar face, one that he really longed to see, but didn't want to see at the same time, as contradictory as it sounded. He stopped in his tracks, and blinked his eyes multiple times to make sure his eyes weren't cheating him.

They weren't. It was really him.

Taekwoon didn't know how to react, he just stayed rooted in his spot. It wasn't until the girl seated across him turned in Taekwoon's direction and made eye contact with him that he ran off.

-

Jaehwan followed Kyungri's line of vision, looking out onto the street.

"What's there?"

Kyungri looked back at Jaehwan and shrugged her shoulders, "Some guy was looking in our direction, but he just ran off when I looked at him. Weird."

Jaehwan just nodded and continued eating, not putting too much thought into it.

"But hey, he's _almost_ more handsome than you."

Jaehwan faked an angry expression, "Yah!"

Both of them burst out laughing at Jaehwan's borderline terrible acting, before continuing with their meal.

-

Taekwoon slowly came to a stop, panting hard, after making sure he'd run a safe distance already. He checked the stuff he was holding, only to find that his slice of Tiramisu was in ruins. Taekwoon shook his head and discarded it in a bin nearby. So much for having a good day.

Thoughts of Jaehwan flooded his mind, and before he knew it, his vision became blurred, and he started running again. Away from Jaehwan, away from the judgement of people, and away from himself. He was tired of seeing himself in a mess just because of Jaehwan. He couldn't even remember how many times he wished he could just forget Jaehwan. _Yes, I need to forget him._ It was a Tuesday, but Taekwoon still walked into a bar against his better judgment.

Taekwoon sat by the bar, and asked for a bottle vodka. He downed three shots in quick succession, hoping that the alcohol could quickly take effect. Just as he downed the fourth shot, a tall man took the seat beside him. He looked like he was in his early twenties, and possibly taller than Taekwoon himself.

The man looked at Taekwoon, whose eyes were red and asked, "Drowning your sorrows?"

Taekwoon slammed the shot glass on the bar table, shaking his head slowly. He struggled to find the right word as the alcohol was getting to his head. "Forgetting."

The man nodded, "Ah. Judging from your clothes, you probably have work tomorrow? So you shouldn't drink too much."

Taekwoon just scoffed, "Work? Fuck work. It's been nothing but shit with an asshole for a boss."

"Ah... I'm Wonshik, twenty-three, by the way," the man said, extending his hand for a handshake.

Taekwoon was getting a little delirious, but he still managed to give Wonshik a firm handshake. "Taekwoon, twenty-six."

"Can I call you hyung?"

Wonshik ordered a cocktail for himself as Taekwoon just nodded in response.

"Hyung, I'm sorry that work is terrible for you. Why not just quit?"

Taekwoon shook his head, "I can't. Three years bond. A year left."

Wonshik glanced at Taekwoon with a look of pity, before turning to get his drink from the bartender. He took a sip and sighed, "Oh man, that must suck. No wonder you're drinking so much."

Taekwoon stared at his shot glass and scoffed again, "I wish."

Wonshik frowned. "Something else bothering you?"

Taekwoon nodded, and Wonshik nodded knowingly, "It's about love, isn't it?"

Taekwoon chuckled, "You're smart."

Wonshik gave Taekwoon a bittersweet smile, "If you don't mind sharing..?"

Taekwoon shook his head again, "I broke up with my boyfriend and I miss him."

Wonshik furrowed his eyebrows, "I'm sorry? _You_ broke up with your boyfriend but you miss him?"

Taekwoon laughed emptily, "Funny, isn't it? I think it's karma."

"I'm not sure if I follow..."

Taekwoon sighed, "I broke up with him when I was flirting with another guy, but things didn't work out in the end."

Wonshik laughed, "You shouldn't blame yourself for having a change of heart, y'know. Despite how people want promises of forever and stuff, it's really only human to change. I definitely hope you don't drink everyday like this."

Taekwoon laughed too, "No, no, I don't. Thanks for your concern though. It's just that I saw him with his girlfriend today. If only I wasn't as stupid as to push him away. You know, what really sucks is that whenever I see him, I think of the happy times we've had and what could have been, and I regret my decision all over again."

Wonshik gave Taekwoon a comforting pat on the back. "Hyung, I may not be in the best position to say this, but if it was good, then good for you. If it wasn't, it's experience. People only move forward when they take everything into their stride."

Taekwoon sighed and nodded, saying, "Thanks, I think I know what you mean." That's what Taekwoon _said_ , but not necessarily what he _thought_. In a sense, he did understand what Wonshik said but what if he _didn't want_ to move forward? What if he just wanted to go back to the past? Taekwoon knew he was the sentimental type, and it was nothing surprising for him to reminisce the past.

Wonshik smiled, "Glad you do. I should probably go now and work on my thesis though, it was great talking to you. Remember not to drink too much. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to text or call me. I'm a psychology major, if you're curious," Wonshik said as he slipped Taekwoon a serviette with his number scribbled on it.

Taekwoon was pleasantly shocked to hear that. No wonder Wonshik was saying things that made him feel better despite himself. "Thank you. It was nice meeting you too."

Taekwoon waved back at Wonshik as Wonshik walked out of the bar. He saved Wonshik's number in his phone, just in case he needed his company. He looked at the bottle of vodka, staring back at him. There was enough for a little more than one shot, so Taekwoon just drank straight from the bottle, deciding it wouldn't do him too much harm.

It didn't do him much physical harm, but Taekwoon wasn't that good a drinker. A small bottle of vodka was enough to get him taking out his phone, pressing 2 on his speed dial. It was a habit he'd cultivated while still dating Jaehwan, to press 2 on his speed dial whenever he missed Jaehwan. Taekwoon couldn't help missing him, wanting to hear his voice, see him face, breathe in his scent and everything him. He was usually able to restrain himself from doing it, but not when he was drunk like that.

-

Jaehwan had just stepped into his room, after returning home from the date with Kyungri. He was about to undress when a loud vibration sounded from the nightstand. The screen lit up, and Jaehwan froze when he saw the caller ID. It was the name he really missed, but really didn't want to see at the same time.

"Taekwoon-hyung" filled the screen in big letters. Jaehwan didn't know if he should pick up. He shook his head. _No, I shouldn't. He's the one who said we shouldn't call each other anymore._ Right, Taekwoon had no reason to call him. Maybe he butt-dialed Jaehwan. _Yes, that must be it._

Jaehwan just let the phone ring until it stopped, so Taekwoon wouldn't find out that he didn't pick up on purpose. He sighed as he picked up his phone to clear the 'Missed Call' notification. Jaehwan jumped a little when his phone started vibrating again, and the same name was displayed on the screen. _Seems like it wasn't butt-dialing._ Jaehwan stared blankly at his phone. Was Taekwoon in trouble or something? Did something happen to him? Worries started filling Jaehwan's head and deciding to follow his heart for once, Jaehwan swiped the screen with a shaky thumb.

"..."

"Hello..?"

"..."

"Taekwoon-hyung?"

Taekwoon wasn't saying anything, and all Jaehwan could hear was some fuzzy noise in the background. He could pick out sounds of glass clinking, though.

"... Jaehwan-ah," Taekwoon finally said, with a cracked voice. Jaehwan clearly heard him sniffing, and he knew. He knew Taekwoon was crying. He hated knowing that Taekwoon was crying, and he _absolutely hated_ the way Taekwoon said his name, because he always sounded so loving. He was overwhelmed with all the sudden emotions he was feeling. He had to bite his lower lip to prevent any sounds from coming out from his trembling lips, tears flowing down at the same time.

"W-What's wrong, hyung..."

"I..." Taekwoon started, followed by a grunt, "Miss you."

Jaehwan managed to chuckle despite his tears, "You must be drunk, hyung. Where are you now?"

"I'm not... Where am I now? What's the name of this place?" Jaehwan heard the questions being directed to someone else.

Taekwoon continued, "They said it's called Silverlight."

Jaehwan pressed his lips together. He saw a place called Silverlight on the street earlier on, and he knew it was a bar. That meant Taekwoon was most likely drunk, and Jaehwan just felt this compelling need to bring Taekwoon home safely.

"Okay. Wait there. Stop drinking."

"Wait, Jae-" Jaehwan just hung up before Taekwoon could finish.

Despite him telling himself that he shouldn't go, Jaehwan still grabbed his keys and rushed out of the apartment. _Just once. It wouldn't hurt right?_

-

Jaehwan parked his car just outside Silverlight, took a deep breath and walked into the bar. He easily spotted Taekwoon sitting by the counter. He walked over and tapped Taekwoon on his shoulder.

"Hyung, let's go."

Taekwoon spun around hearing Jaehwan's voice, eyes widened. He grabbed onto Jaehwan's arms and stood up.

"Jaehwan-ah..."

 _It's that tone again..._ Jaehwan took in deep breaths to repress the urge to cry, which was failing, much to his distaste.

"Let's go home," Jaehwan said, averting his gaze. The bar counter suddenly looked really interesting.

Taekwoon held Jaehwan by his chin and forced Jaehwan to look at him. He rubbed the tears from Jaehwan's cheeks, and cupped Jaehwan's face in his warm hands. He kept looking at Jaehwan's face, and that only made Jaehwan cry even more.

"I missed you, Jaehwan-ah..." Taekwoon was tearing up too, as he pulled Jaehwan into a tight hug.

Jaehwan gasped when Taekwoon nuzzled against his neck, but he couldn't find it in him to push Taekwoon away. He just couldn't, not when he was probably the one who missed the other more between the two of them. Instead, he was surprised when Taekwoon pushed himself away first. Jaehwan looked at Taekwoon, puzzled. Taekwoon had his eyebrows furrowed.

"You smell different... Must be your girlfriend."

Jaehwan looked away immediately. He knew Taekwoon was probably right, he was in the same clothes that he wore on the date afterall. He decided to changed the topic, saying, "We should go now," followed by dragging Taekwoon out of the bar into his car.

Jaehwan glanced at Taekwoon through the back mirror, and Taekwoon had his head thrown back. "Hyung, can you stay awake until we get you home? It's less than a ten minute drive." Taekwoon just groaned, and Jaehwan stepped on the gas pedal knowing he had to be quick, otherwise he would have to carry the whole weight of Taekwoon.

-

"What's your passcode?"

"You know it."

Jaehwan's heart dropped. If Taekwoon hadn't changed his passcode, it meant that it was still 0406. Jaehwan's birthday. _Now isn't the time to worry about this!_ Jaehwan shook his head, and quickly punched in the passcode. Jaehwan threw Taekwoon onto his bed, panting. He didn't have to carry a dead weight, but it was still tiring supporting an unstable Taekwoon. He sighed, before getting a towel damp with warm water and placing it on Taekwoon's forehead.

Jaehwan brushed Taekwoon's hair aside, shaking his head, "I don't even know how you're going to make it to work tomorrow."

Taekwoon's hand suddenly shot up to grab Jaehwan by his wrist, giving Jaehwan a shock.

"Jaehwan-ah... I love you."

Jaehwan gasped and tried to retract his hand, but Taekwoon only held on tighter. Jaehwan gazed at Taekwoon, "Hyung, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."

Taekwoon held Jaehwan's hand in his, saying, "I know what I'm saying. Please don't go. I love you."

All the effort Jaehwan put in holding back his tears went down the drain as he heard that. He shook Taekwoon's hand off and stood up, shouting, "Remember what you said that day? You said we shouldn't call each other anymore, and we shouldn't meet each other anymore. If you love me, why did you break up with me in the first place?!"

Taekwoon grabbed Jaehwan by his wrist again, pulling him down onto the bed. Taekwoon sat up against the headboard, saying, "I... It was a mistake, Jaehwan-ah. I was wrong. Can we start again and pretend nothing happened?"

Jaehwan shook his head, "I have a girlfriend, hyung."

"I know. I saw you guys having dinner today."

Jaehwan's eyes widened. Did that mean... "You were the handsome guy she saw outside the restaurant?!"

"Um... I guess your girlfriend did see me then."

Jaehwan's jaw dropped. He wouldn't have expected it to be Taekwoon of all people.

"Back to the main point, hyung. How can we start again just like that?"

"Please, Jaehwan-ah... I really hate myself for breaking up with you. I should have known that you're the only one for me..." Taekwoon pleaded.

Jaehwan burst out shouting, "Hyung, why are you so cruel to me?! Do you know how devastated I was when you broke up with me? Do you even know how hard it was for me to pick myself up again? Why is it that you have to come back and haunt me when I'm happy with my girlfriend now?! You don't know how cruel you're being, hyung, you don't fucking know!"

Taekwoon stared into Jaehwan's eyes, "I'm sorry, Jaehwan-ah. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. I promise I'll never hurt you again."

Jaehwan made up his mind and shook his head, "No, you can't. I'll admit I still love you, Taekwoon-hyung. But I have a girlfriend that I love equally as much, and I can't wait to spend my life together with her. Perhaps we were just not meant to be. I wouldn't have met her if we didn't break up."

Taekwoon grabbed Jaehwan's shoulders. "No! What about us? What about this..." Taekwoon trailed off his sentence as he leaned in to capture Jaehwan's lips in a kiss. Jaehwan had missed kissing Taekwoon, but as much as he liked it, it was wrong. It felt so wrong. He didn't want to kiss Taekwoon when he already had a commitment to someone else. He forcefully pushed Taekwoon away.

"Stop it, hyung. You weren't there when I needed you the most. You can't expect me to always be there whenever you feel like you need me, and throw me aside when you don't."

"I..."

"We can't start over again, hyung. It's too late." It hurt to say those words, but Jaehwan had already made up his mind. Taekwoon was meant to be a memory, and a beautiful one at that.

Taekwoon remained silent after that, and they stayed in silence for a long while.

Taekwoon broke the silence saying, "I... Okay."

"What?"

"I understand," Taekwoon started and bit his lower lip. After a moment of hesitation, he continued, "I promise to never bother you again, but can we end this nicely? Let this be the last time." Taekwoon leaned forward and kissed Jaehwan urgently, as though he had no time to lose. Jaehwan's mind was screaming "no!" but his heart told him, _It's okay. Just one last time. It wouldn't hurt, right?_ If that was what Taekwoon really wanted, Jaehwan was willing to give it to him.

Jaehwan closed his eyes and held Taekwoon's waist, indulging in the kiss. Taekwoon let out a moan as he pinned Jaehwan onto the bed, still sucking on Jaehwan's lips greedily. Taekwoon pulled back and broke the kiss, panting, and he stared into Jaehwan's eyes for a while. Taekwoon squeezed his eyes shut, and Jaehwan felt a drop of water hit his face. Jaehwan quickly turned his head to the side, because it was too hard for him to watch Taekwoon cry out of anything other than joy. It was one of the sights Jaehwan wished he'd never had to see.

Jaehwan felt Taekwoon's breath on his face, as Taekwoon leaned down to place a kiss on the corner of Jaehwan's eye and say, "Jaehwan-ah, thank you." He pecked Jaehwan on the cheek too, saying, "I'm sorry." Lastly, he lightly kissed Jaehwan on the lips and whispered against Jaehwan, "I love you."

Jaehwan thought that he would have run out of tears by then, but he was wrong. Tears were flowing out against his will. He felt worse because he knew Taekwoon was being entirely sincere. He wished he could hear Taekwoon tell him that every day. He wanted to make things work with Taekwoon, but fate had it the other way. Precisely because he knew how it felt to have a person you love leave you for someone else, Jaehwan made it a point to always stay by Kyungri's side. He didn't want her to go through what he did. He really would have liked for his relationship with Taekwoon to work out, but it couldn't.

Taekwoon slipped his hand into Jaehwan's shirt, snapping Jaehwan back to reality. Taekwoon delicately ran his fingers over Jaehwan's abs, and then pulled Jaehwan's shirt off. Taekwoon slowly traced his hands along Jaehwan's shoulder, down to his fingertips, then down Jaehwan's sides, and down from Jaehwan's chest to the waistband of his boxers. Taekwoon then licked a trail up the middle of Jaehwan's torso, and went for another kiss, pushing his tongue past Jaehwan's lips, causing Jaehwan to let out soft moans in pleasure. He was using all his senses to take in every tiny detail of Jaehwan.

Jaehwan pushed Taekwoon upwards, keeping Taekwoon a fair distance from him, to do the same. He used his fingers to trace the contours of Taekwoon's face, trying to memorize the way Taekwoon's face was beautifully sculpted. Jaehwan then pulled off Taekwoon's tie, and started to unbutton his dress shirt that was hugging his figure, making Taekwoon look extremely sexy. Jaehwan loved it when Taekwoon wore black, because it accentuated his fair skin and made him look more radiant, but at that moment, Jaehwan thought he'd look better without a shirt.

It took longer than it should have for Jaehwan to unbutton the shirt, because his hands were shaking. Taekwoon waited patiently anyway, and when Jaehwan was finally done with the last button, he took Jaehwan's right hand in his own left and intertwined their fingers. Doing so, Taekwoon dived down for another kiss. They were taking things much slower than they have in the past, treasuring every moment of the process.

Jaehwan suddenly felt empty when Taekwoon pulled away and let go of his hand, but his body started heating up when he saw that Taekwoon did so to completely take off his shirt and throw it aside. Taekwoon started grinding his hips down against Jaehwan's groin, and Jaehwan let out a sultry whine, that would have been embarrassing if anyone other than Taekwoon had heard it.

Taekwoon continued rocking against Jaehwan, but was forced to a stop when Jaehwan sat up. Jaehwan carefully unbuckled Taekwoon's belt buckle, removing his belt and placing it aside. There was already a large bulge at the front of Taekwoon's pants, his dick straining hard against the zipper. Giving the bulge a few gentle strokes, Jaehwan quickly unbuttoned and unzipped Taekwoon's pants, freeing him from the discomfort. With some difficulty, Jaehwan managed to take off his pants totally and discarded them in a corner.

Jaehwan grabbed Taekwoon's dick through his boxers and started pumping it while sucking the head. Taekwoon shuddered at the sudden warmth, letting out a shaky, breathy moan. Jaehwan continued until a spot on Taekwoon's boxers was soaked with his saliva. He then pulled down Taekwoon's boxers, Taekwoon's dick bouncing a little after popping past the waistband. Jaehwan didn't hesitate to take Taekwoon in his mouth, going deeper with every suck, hands gripping on Taekwoon's thighs. Taekwoon thrusted lightly, and he was biting his lower lip, trying to hold in his moans. Constricted whining escaped his mouth instead, making Jaehwan even more turned on, knowing Taekwoon just couldn't control himself.

"Stop, Jaehwan-ah," Taekwoon gasped as he pulled Jaehwan's head back by his hair, leaving Jaehwan giving Taekwoon a confused look. Taekwoon groaned when he saw Jaehwan with those slightly parted lips, reddened from friction. "I... I want us to finish this together." Jaehwan swallowed hard to push down the lump in his throat, knowing very well the reason Taekwoon said that. It was going to be their last time together, and both of them wanted it to end beautifully.

Taekwoon laid Jaehwan down onto the bed gently, and started to give Jaehwan's erection light, feathery kisses through his skinny jeans. Jaehwan had to muster all his mental strength to not buck up against Taekwoon's lips; the kisses were barely there, but they made Jaehwan feel like floating and only wanting for more.

Taekwoon wanted to take Jaehwan's boxers and jeans off in a swift motion, but the jeans clung on to Jaehwan's legs like glue, making Taekwoon groan in frustration. Jaehwan couldn't help but chuckle; Taekwoon was just so adorable sometimes. Jaehwan's thoughts were interrupted when Taekwoon started licking his length, coating it with a good amount of saliva. Pleasure could be heard in every breath of Jaehwan, who had been hard for a long time and was finally getting some attention.

Jaehwan winced a little when Taekwoon wiggled a lubed finger into his hole, it had been a fair while since he had anal sex, but he soon got used to the feeling as Taekwoon added a second finger. Taekwoon focused every ounce of his attention on Jaehwan, scissoring him so carefully, as if Jaehwan was made of fragile glass. Taekwoon might be violent at many times, but he was more delicate than ever whenever they made love. They both liked it slow and sensual, allowing them to indulge in each other's presence.

Taekwoon added a third finger, and he looked closely at Jaehwan's face. He watched as Jaehwan's expression changed from a one of slight discomfort to one of pleasure. Jaehwan's breath hitched when Taekwoon's fingers slightly brushed over his sweet spot, but not quite there yet. He looked up at Taekwoon and nodded. Taekwoon took the cue and pulled his fingers out. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down, as he swallowed and asked, "Can you be the one doing it?"

Jaehwan saw no reason to reject, so he nodded and got up for Taekwoon to lie down on the bed. He straddled Taekwoon, sitting on his thighs first. Jaehwan sat there unmoving, contemplating whether or not to voice out his request. Taekwoon stroked Jaehwan's thigh with a concerned look, "Jaehwan-ah, what's wrong?"

Jaehwan shook his head slightly, "Nothing. I was wondering if you could look into my eyes throughout."

Taekwoon smiled one of those smiles that were meant for Jaehwan only, "Of course. For as long as you want me to."

Jaehwan returned a bittersweet smile. He had missed seeing Taekwoon's smile, and his heart was soaring but at the same time, he knew those smiles were one of the things he would miss the most.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Jaehwan turned his focus back to the present. He took a deep breath before sinking down on Taekwoon's dick slowly. He stayed in the position where Taekwoon was fully in for a long while, partially to adjust and partially to remember how it was like to be filled by Taekwoon. When he felt more comfortable, he started to move up and down, with Taekwoon thrusting to meet his hips. He started off with a slow and comfortable tempo, slowly picking up speed, just like an _accelerando_ from _adagio_ to _andante_.

The heat in the atmosphere was getting more and more intense by the minute, but the lactic acid was also building up in Jaehwan's thighs. He scrunched up his face in an attempt to keep up with the pace, but ultimately failing as he began to slow down slightly. Taekwoon seemed to have noticed, as he tapped Jaehwan. He signalled for Jaehwan to get off him, before he flipped the both of them over so Jaehwan was lying back on the bed.

Almost folding Jaehwan into half, Taekwoon started moving in him at the speed they left off at right away. Taekwoon was experimenting with the different angles, and he knew he found it when Jaehwan turned his head to the side, moaning erotically, just as amazing as the way Taekwoon remembered it. Taekwoon managed to breath out, among his pants, "H-hey... I... I thought w-we were supposed to look- ugh, at each other."

Jaehwan really wanted to, but whenever Taekwoon hit his prostate, it made his head spin and it was hard to keep his eyes open. He tried his best to look into Taekwoon's eyes, saying, "S-sorry- ahhhh-" Jaehwan got cut off by his own moans, leaving him wondering how Taekwoon could even say a complete sentence.

Taekwoon threw Jaehwan's legs over his own shoulders, going in deeper with each thrust, even faster than before, at _allegro_ and started to stroke Jaehwan in time with his thrusts. Jaehwan's blood was pulsing through his blood vessels at a crazy rate, which felt like a _presto_ to him. He knew he was nearing, and he gathered all the strength left in his body to keep his eyes open.

Taekwoon was panting, with his mouth wide open, but still maintaining eye contact with Jaehwan, albeit with half-lidded eyes. Jaehwan felt that the eye contact was electrifying, the strong signals of love being sent undeniable between their eyes, as was the electrifying wave of pleasure that washed over him as he spurt out strong squirts of cum onto Taekwoon's body.

Taekwoon's eyes flickered from Jaehwan's eyes to Jaehwan's dick for a short moment, and Taekwoon couldn't help but close his eyes and throw his head back, letting out the breath caught in his throat as a low moan. He snapped his vision back to Jaehwan, and slowed down his thrusts considerably, asking, "... Can I?"

Jaehwan was still panting hard, calming down from his climax, and he hesitated momentarily. It was the last time the two of them would be feeling each other like this, and girlfriend or not, Jaehwan wanted to end this as perfectly as possible. He blinked a few times and nodded, eyes never leaving Taekwoon. Taekwoon sped up again, and it didn't take long before he held his breath and stopped his motions. Taekwoon whined, sounding desperate, as Jaehwan felt himself being filled up by a warm, dense liquid.

Taekwoon smiled the brightest he had that day, as he gasped for his breath. Jaehwan's heart swelled, and he smiled back. He knew they were both genuinely happy and grateful for each other, but the smile on Taekwoon's face slowly disappeared, as it was replaced by trembling lips. Tears were falling again and Jaehwan wasn't sure if Taekwoon was panting or sobbing anymore. Taekwoon scooted over to lie down beside Jaehwan, and he embraced Jaehwan, resting his chin on Jaehwan's shoulder.

Taekwoon was sniffing and sobbing, and Jaehwan felt terrible. He wanted to hug Taekwoon until he stopped crying, and he was going to do just that. "Jaehwan-ah," Taekwoon started with a nasal voice, "Thank you. I'm sorry..." he couldn't continue as he started to shake uncontrollably. Jaehwan was already in tears, but he was going to be strong for Taekwoon, at least for once. He stroked Taekwoon's back at a constant, slow rhythm, trying to get Taekwoon's breathing to even out and slow down.

Taekwoon finally took in a deep breath, and said shakily, "... and I love you."

Jaehwan didn't know what to say to Taekwoon, except a soft "I love you too".

Taekwoon's breathing returned to a normal pace as he drifted off into sleep, the both of them still in each other's arms.

-

Jaehwan woke up at the break of dawn, taking the liberty to use Taekwoon's shower. He had work at the cafe that morning, and he couldn't risk enraging his boss. _Speaking of work, what about Taekwoon-hyung?_ Drying himself, Jaehwan got out of the shower and took a good look at Taekwoon. They had only gone to sleep for a few hours, and he was sure Taekwoon would be having a bad hangover. He fiddled with Taekwoon's phone, finding a contact that seemed like he could be Taekwoon's boss. To his luck, there was only one name with "manager-nim" in it, so Jaehwan dialed the number and informed the man Taekwoon couldn't be at work that day.

Jaehwan sat down in front of Taekwoon's desk, and took a piece of paper, writing a letter to Taekwoon. It was going to be about everything he'd wanted to tell Taekwoon since they broke up, and Jaehwan ended up crying over the _dumb_ letter.

He went into the kitchen to grab some painkillers and a glass of water, and placed them on the nightstand together with the letter safely under it.

Jaehwan took one last look at Taekwoon, and made his way to work.

-

Taekwoon woke up to the morning sun shining through the curtains, with a pounding headache. He found himself naked, to his horror, and smelling like crap. He looked to his left and there was a glass of water with some pills beside it. Without thinking too much, he took the pills and gulped down all the water. The piece of paper, nicely folded into half, caught his eye and he opened it up.

_Taekwoon-hyung~_

Taekwoon's eyes widened. It was Jaehwan's handwriting for sure. He couldn't be wrong about that.

The memories of the previous night started flooding his mind like a film flashback, and he threw the letter aside, grabbing his forehead. Why did that even happen?! He cursed himself, "Fuck, Jung Taekwoon. You're out of your mind," as he punched the mattress hard, and again, until his hand hurt. He gradually calmed down, and he whispered to himself, "Okay... okay. Get a grip on yourself. Breathe in, breathe out."

He opened the letter again, with shaky hands as his hand throbbed from the pain.

 _It's me. Last night, you were drunk and called me, so I went to get you home, and things happened.  
Remember what you said when you broke up with me? You asked me not to call you again.  
You also said we shouldn't meet each other again, but see what happened, haha.  
Don't worry, hyung, I won't blame you. You were drunk afterall, so it isn't really your fault.  
Anyway, I have a feeling you won't remember much, but I do rememeber everything, so I'll tell you.  
You asked if we could start over and pretend nothing happened, and you said you love me.  
I told you that we can't. I have a girlfriend already. Her name is Kyungri, by the way.  
She's really pretty and cute, and she's the same age as you. I really treasure her a lot.  
It doesn't mean I don't love you anymore, hyung. I still do. I love the both of you.  
It's just that I can't be with you anymore. Kyungri-noona is my priority now.  
But you know when someone is no longer your priority, but they still hold a special place in your heart?  
That's what you are to me, hyung. I will still hold you dear to my heart, above my other friends.  
You also said these three things to me, so I will say them back to you too._  
Thank you, _for loving me and giving me great memories that I will cherish for life._  
I'm sorry, _for not being able to accept your heart anymore, and for making you cry. I hate seeing you cry._  
_And lastly,_ I love you.

There was a dried, wrinkled mark on the paper, and Taekwoon knew Jaehwan must have cried while writing it.

 _Anyway, I've called in sick to your work for you. You must be having a bad hangover now._  
_Take the painkillers and drink some hangover soup or something, headaches are the worst for you._  
 _Sorry I can't stay any longer to take care of you, I have work and my boss is mean *^*_  
 _But please, please take care of yourself, okay? Please at least promise me that you will._  
 _Also, we promised that last night was the last time, so please don't call me ever again._  
 _I won't call you ever again either, and let's not meet. It's the best for the both of us..._  
 _Just kidding >3< but wait until you're ready to talk to me without doing anything you'll regret, okay?_  
 _When that time comes, we'll be best friends who know every stupid thing about each other._  
 _We'll be able to laugh over all our retarded days, and we can even have a double date!_  
 _There are so many things we'll be able to do together, and I can't wait for that._  
 _Hmm... What about five years later? I think that will be a good time. Let's meet then!_  
 _Wow, this letter is so long already. I really need to go for work now._  
 _Don't forget, five years later today!_

_Love,_   
_Jaehwanie._   
_12th July, 2015_

Taekwoon was feeling all sorts of confused, he wasn't sure if he was happy or sad anymore. He was angry at himself for calling Jaehwan, but the anger more or less dissipated when he realised that something good actually came out of it. He was finally able to apologise to Jaehwan after so long, and thank Jaehwan at the same time. Those were the things he'd always wanted to say to Jaehwan, but never got the chance to, because of what he said. He also gained hope that he could still be friends with Jaehwan. He quickly added the date to his list of important dates.

He was sad that Jaehwan was no longer going to hug him all day, kiss him, make love with him, and do all those special things with him, but on hindsight, he should have considered this outcome to be highly possible when he initiated the break up. At that time, he pushed this thought to the back of his head, thinking that he'd still have Jaehwan if his fling didn't work out. If he could have a change of heart, Jaehwan could, too. He'd overlooked that very fact.

Taekwoon was reminded of something someone told him: _Despite how people want promises of forever and stuff, it's really only human to change._ He grabbed his phone and scrolled down his contact list. He tapped the contact, and held his phone to his ear. Taekwoon's heartbeat was getting quicker as the ringing continued. He didn't even know why he was feeling nervous.

"Hello? Who's this?" A low voice sounded through the speaker.

Taekwoon exhaled the breath he didn't know he was holding, "Um, I'm Taekwoon, um, the guy from the bar..?"

"Ahhhh Taekwoon-hyung! Hello! Is everything alright?" Taekwoon could hear him smiling from the tone of his voice. He smiled. That guy knew just the right question to ask.

"Um, sort of..?"

"I see, that's good! I suppose you want to talk, since you called?"

"Ahh, yeah, haha. If you're free?"

"Sure, we can meet..."

-

Kyungri saw Jaehwan and ran over to hug him tightly. "Jaehwan-ah! I haven't seen you in two days," she whined with a pout.

Jaehwan just laughed, "It's only two days, noona. What would you do if I had to go for my military service now?"

"Doesn't matter, you've completed it anyway," she said, still pouting.

Jaehwan patted her head and they both sat on the couch.

"Hey, noona. Remember the handsome guy you saw outside the restaurant that day?"

Kyungri nodded, asking, "Why?"

"He's Taekwoon-hyung."

Kyungri was deep in thought, "Taekwoon... Taekwoon... Wait- You mean your ex, Taekwoon?!"

Jaehwan sighed and nodded.

Kyungri gasped and exclaimed, "You never told me he was that handsome!"

Jaehwan pouted at Kyungri, "That's not the point! Besides, I'm more handsome."

Kyungri smiled sheepishly and pinched Jaehwan's cheeks, "Yeah, of course you are, hehehe. So what about him?"

Jaehwan shook his head, "He wanted us to get back together."

Kyungri raised an eyebrow, "And what did you say?"

Jaehwan took her hands in his, "I said I have a beautiful girlfriend who I look forward to spending my future with."

Kyungri grinned from ear to ear, giving Jaehwan a hug and then a short, but sweet, loving kiss on the lips.

-

12th July, 2020

Jaehwan was sitting on the couch in a tailored suit, shaking his leg impatiently. Kyungri was trying on her wedding gown, and Jaehwan couldn't wait to see her. Jaehwan had proposed to her on Christmas, and they were getting busy with their wedding preparations since the date was nearing. They planned for it to be on an auspicious date, the 8th of August, since Jaehwan's mother believed it would bring them fortune.

Kyungri finally stepped out of the dressing room, and Jaehwan was completely mesmerized by her beauty. He could only stare at her when she smiled at him, and when she asked whether she looked pretty, Jaehwan walked over and held her waist, "Pretty. Beautiful. It would look perfect if I'm beside you," he chuckled, making Kyungri smack him playfully.

The employee smiled and asked them, "Is the gown alright? Do you need any further alterations?"

Kyungri shooked her head, replying, "It's just nice."

"Understood, Miss. Please change out of your gown so I can hang it up for you."

Kyungri smiled at the employee and nodded, going back into the dressing room.

A notification popped up on Jaehwan's phone, saying "12th July, 2020. Special day." He smiled at his phone. He tapped on Taekwoon's number.

"Hello."

"... Hey."

"I hope you haven't forgotten the date today, hyung."

"I haven't."

Jaehwan smiled, "That's great! So... Are you ready to meet me?"

"I'm sad, Jaehwan-ah."

"Huh? What's wrong, hyung?"

"You called, but you never even asked how I was. Heart broken."

Jaehwan chuckled, "Sorry, so how are you?"

"I'm fine enough to meet you, for sure. Meet you at the Starlight Restaurant at 7."

"Okay! Um... Do you mind if I bring Kyungri-noona? I mean, if you're not okay with it then I'll just-"

"Yeah, of course. I would like to meet her. I'll be bringing someone too, then."

Jaehwan smiled widely, "I'm so glad, hyung. I'll see you there then."

"Yeah, see you."

Just as Jaehwan hung up, Kyungri startled Jaehwan from behind, making Jaehwan jump. Jaehwan placed his hand over his chest, "You scared me!"

Kyungri smirked at him, "Hey, who did you talk to? What's made you so happy? Look at that smile on your face."

Jaehwan grinned, "It was Taekwoon-hyung. We'll be going for dinner with him and his... um, friend or significant other or something."

"Ooooh I can't wait to meet your hot ex!"

Jaehwan chopped her neck, "I'm the hottest of them all!!"

They laughed at each other, as they made their way back home to get ready.

-

Jaehwan and Kyungri arrived first. They sat at a table, waiting for the other two.

Jaehwan spotted Taekwoon from afar, so he waved to get Taekwoon's attention. Taekwoon walked over with a tall, well-built man. Taekwoon looked as breathtakingly beautiful as he always did, even more so in a nice black suit. Jaehwan and Taekwoon's eyes met, and they both smiled at each other. It had been five long years, and they couldn't be more glad to see each other again.

Taekwoon's companion bowed, with Taekwoon apologising, "Sorry for being late. This guy kept fussing over styling his hair." The guy smiled apologetically, and Jaehwan waved it off, saying, "It's okay, we didn't wait for long. This lady right here spent an eternity fixing her makeup," earning himself a smack from Kyungri.

Kyungri gestured for them to take a seat, and Taekwoon took the seat opposite Jaehwan, leaving the friend (?) or was it boyfriend, to sit across Kyungri. Jaehwan looked around the table, and it was getting awkward, so he cleared his throat, "Ahem, hi everyone. I'm Lee Jaehwan, twenty-nine. Self-introduction, guys."

Kyungri was next, grinning prettily, "Hello, I'm Park Kyungri! I'm forever eighteen, and I'm Jaehwan's girlfriend. Nice to meet you all!"

Jaehwan rolled his eyes and whispered really loudly, "SHE'S THIRTY-ONE, GUYS."

Kyungri glared and Jaehwan with a pout and punched his arm lightly repeatedly. "Ow, ow, ow, okay! Sorry!" Jaehwan shrieked, laughing in the end.

Jaehwan quietened down as Taekwoon spoke, "Hello, my name is Jung Taekwoon. I'm thirty-one as well." It was the same soft, velvety voice that Jaehwan loved. Some things changed, but others didn't.

Kyungri cooed, "He's handsome, and he's got a pretty voice..."

"Will you stop fangirling over him?!"

"I think I understand why you dated him."

Jaehwan couldn't suppress the smile that was conquering his face, "Alright, moving on."

The man bowed slightly, surprising Kyungri and Jaehwan with the bass in his voice, "Hello, I'm Kim Wonshik and I'm twenty-eight. I'm dating Taekwoon-hyung. I'm also a certified psychologist, so if you may..." He slid a name card each to Kyungri and Jaehwan, but before Kyungri could accept the name card, Jaehwan pushed it back.

Wonshik widened his eyes at Jaehwan's refusal. Jaehwan shook his head, "Friends don't give friends name cards, right? We'll be good friends, Wonshik, and I won't need your name card then." Wonshik laughed heartily in relief, and he started exchanging conversation with Jaehwan.

That left Kyungri and Taekwoon to converse. Taekwoon initially thought it would be rather awkward, but Kyungri was unexpectedly easy to talk to, with her asking about dirty secrets of Jaehwan's past and being a bubbly person in general.

-

They were enjoying their food in silence when Jaehwan suddenly nudged Kyungri, asking her to get something from her handbag.

"Guys, Kyungri-noona and I are getting married on the coming 8th of August," Jaehwan started, as Kyungri handed Taekwoon an invitation, "I know it's late notice but I wanted to hand you the invitation personally. Wonshik-ah, I expect you to come too! Sorry I don't have an invitation for you though, if only I had known you earlier."

Wonshik nodded his head, "It's okay, hyung. Congratulations! I'll be sure to attend."

Taekwoon closed the invitation, and smiled at Jaehwan, "Congratulations, Jaehwan-ah. Congratulations to you too, Kyungri-ssi-"

"Just call me by my name, Taekwoon- _ah_ ," Kyungri dragged out the "ah" for emphasis.

Taekwoon looked down, smiling, "Alright, congratulations to you too, Kyungri. I know you two will be a great couple, and I'll definitely be there."

Jaehwan celebrated, "Yay! Thanks, hyung!"

Taekwoon chuckled, "No need to thank me. Why wouldn't I be at my _best friend_ 's wedding?" He smiled at Jaehwan, raising an eyebrow. Jaehwan smiled back knowingly.

-

Wonshik and Kyungri agreed to give the two some alone time, so the two stood there for a while, just looking at each other. Jaehwan stepped forward to hug Taekwoon, patting Taekwoon on the back.

"I missed you so much, hyung. You still look as good."

Taekwoon sighed in content, "I missed you too. Thanks, I know I always look good."

Jaehwan gave Taekwoon an especially hard smack in place of a pat, making Taekwoon groan in pain, "Ouch! I haven't seen you in five years and this is what you do to me?!"

"It's for you being an egoistic little shit."

They were drowned in the sounds of each other's laughter.

Taekwoon rested his hand on Jaehwan's shoulder, "Hey, Jaehwan-ah. Thank you for still being a great friend to me. I'm sorry for ever hurting you. I still love you, okay?"

Jaehwan smacked Taekwoon's waist, "Of course it's okay! Thank you for all the great memories, hyung. Just to let you know, we're definitely having a lot more in future. I'm sorry that we couldn't be together-"

"That's nothing for you to be sorry about."

Jaehwan nodded, "Alright, alright. Anyway, I love you too, okay?!"

They smiled at each other one last time before hugging each other tight again.

-

Jaehwan was glad he opened up his heart to Taekwoon again. He'd locked it when Taekwoon broke up with him, but he ultimately decided to open it again after that night, and he was sure that was one of the best choices he'd made in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Actually one of the longest fics I've written wow. Also I am aware the title is quite irrelevant but it was a feeble attempt to promote Nine Muses' then-new song


End file.
